by David Hanson | Dec 18, 2013 | The Youth Ministry Blog
Instead of going to lunch the other day, I sat in my office.
I usually get out for a while, eat some food and breath the fresh air. I love to walk for a minute and clear my head so I can get back to the grind refreshed and strong.
It didn’t happen the other day though. Instead of getting out, I say at my desk. I ate my leftovers and read a book while doing a whole lot of nothing that I normally do during my lunch break.
Why?
I was covering for someone.
Our church assigns days for ministers to be “on call” so that if someone with a need comes in we can talk with them and pray with them and direct them to how we can best meet their needs.
Another pastor was on duty that day, but an issue came up and he needed to leave campus (which, when you’re on call, is something you can’t do). He asked if I could cover for him. The time frame ended up being the only available time I would have that day to take a lunch.
So I slammed my fists on my desk and told him it wasn’t fair and that NO, I cannot cover for you! Find someone else!
Yeah I didn’t do that.
I told him it wasn’t a big deal. I did him a favor.
In your church culture, do you do favors for those around you who need someone to help, or are you so bogged down with your own calendar and so tightly scheduled that you can’t offer a helping hand when its needed? Obviously there are those who may ask too much too often, but does anyone in your church owe you favors simply because you helped them out?
I hope you’ll get into the habit of being owed favors, so that when the time comes, you can call in a favor or two yourself!
Ronald is a follower of Jesus who’s married to Bekah, father to two beautiful girls and a chronic writer. He blogs at ronaldlong.org and tweets from @ronald_long. When’s he has free time, he plays with his kids, goes for a run, or plays video games. If you’re interested in some of his bible study material, check out
128ministries.org.
by David Hanson | Dec 16, 2013 | The Youth Ministry Blog
As I was laying in bed one morning, next to my daughter who had stolen her mothers iPhone, I heard a familiar voice. (My daughter is only 2 but knows how to find the PBS app where she can watch a variety of kid shows…scary!). I quickly realized that it was the voice of Dave Matthews. Now, you must know that I am a HUGE Dave Matthews Band fan! You can’t beat his long jam sessions…c’mon!
But this was not just Dave Matthews, this was Dave Matthews on Sesame Street with Grover. That morning, Dave and Grover pointed out something that many Middle Schoolers deal with: expressing emotion. Both Grover and Dave could not express WHAT they were feeling. They knew that they were angry but felt inadequate in expressing it, that is, until they sang. Watch this and try not to sing it the rest of the day:
Junior High students have a very difficult time expressing what they feel. Sometimes they need help finding “words to say how their feeling today.” As their brains develop, they move from concrete expression to more abstract expression. In the book Middle School Ministry by Mark Oestreicher & Scott Rubin, MarkO states it like this:
“Children and preteens, with their limited cognitive options (meaning, their more literal, concrete thinking), are like painters holding color palettes containing the primary colors and one ore two others. Sure, they can mix colors on the canvas, but those brush strokes are often unintentional at best.
Emotions are abstract. More accurately: Thinking about emotions, or being self-aware of one’s emotions, is even more abstract.
Imagine that preteen painter with her little limited color palette. Then, without her actually realizing it, someone takes that color palette away and replaces it with a significantly larger palette, one that’s preloaded with a huge assortment of colors.” -MarkO
This seems to be what Grover, and Dave Matthews, are wrestling with. This is what your Middle Schoolers are dealing with. They have a flood of emotions yet have very little understanding on how to express those emotions. This is where you come in. As a Youth Worker, you can help students verbalize what they are feeling. When they experience anger, you can help them process it. When they experience life transformation through Jesus Christ, you can help them express it. MarkO calls us “emotional language tutors.”
Your junior high students aren’t just quiet because they are bored, they are literally without words! Become a good listener. Become a good question asker. Become an emotional interpreter. Let students know it’s okay to feel confusion and normal to not know what to say.
So here are my questions for you. How are you:
1. Helping Middles Schoolers understand and verbalize their feelings?
2. Helping your volunteers understand this stage of development so they can ask the right questions?
Kevin Libick recently posted on this also: Middle School Guys Have Feelings Too
Texas native, Texas Tech Red Raider, M.Div. at Truett Seminary, husband to Ashley, father to Ava & Ben, Student Pastor at
LifePoint Church in Plano, Tx, table tennis (ping-pong) extraordinaire, addicted to coffee. For anything else…you’ll just have to ask,
Email David.
by David Hanson | Dec 16, 2013 | The Youth Ministry Blog
What are we doing about Suicide?
Suicide is one of the biggest issues in the world today and most importantly in Student Ministry! We must do everything we possibly can do to be prepared when a student is struggling with suicide and suicidal thoughts. To be honest, two months ago, we were completely unprepared.
We have already had two students attempt suicide in the last 4 months and have ended up in the hospital. We have also had several mention they have thought about it.
We must know what to do. We need the right resources. Lets take action!
We can’t mention enough in our sermons that Jesus cares about them and their needs and would never want them to take their life! He came that they may have life and life to the full!
We can’t allow students to make a permanent decision with a temporary problem!
Things we must do!
-Give them a wallet size resource card of what they can do if they are struggling with suicide. Hand them out to every student. Example below.
-Have a night dealing with Suicide. Have a student share their testimony and then have leaders for them to go to.
-Encourage students to talk to their parents about their life and what they are going through.
-Have a counselor they can go to if its something serious they are going through.
-Take your students seriously when they talk about suicide.
One of the best movies dealing with this topic: “To Save a Life.” If you haven’t seen this, it’s a must!
Michael Hux is the Student Pastor of Team Church in Matthews, NC.
Connect with Michael on Twitter or Instagram: @_Hux
by David Hanson | Dec 12, 2013 | The Youth Ministry Blog
Finish the following sentence: “What my ministry really needs is…”
Did you answer with a new sound system, another paid staff person, more supportive church leadership, or a ministry lake house (that was mine)? In ministry, we like to focus a lot on what we DON’T have. We dream of the day when we will have what we really need in order to accomplish the ministry God has called us to.
As someone who works at a large church, let me burst your bubble. It will never be enough. There will always be something else that you will want that will make your ministry complete.
My prayer for you this week is that you would be empowered in the sufficiency of Christ in your ministry. The ministry you’ve been called do will not be accomplished through more ingenuity, resources, creativity and personality.
Check out what Peter says: “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.” (2 Peter 1:3 NLT).
He doesn’t say that God has given us “some” of the things we need. No, EVERYTHING we need for the God-life is already supplied by Jesus. This is easier said than believed. We must admit that there are times when God’s promise of provision and sufficiency isn’t enough to move forward in faith.
Think of the Israelites leaving Egypt. Right after walking through the Red Sea on dry land, they are complaining to God for not providing for them. How quickly they forgot. How quickly we forget! When we forget that in Christ we have all we need, we are really forgetting that the God we serve has not left us high and dry.
Jesus did ministry without a budget but God still provided a temple tax from a fish’s mouth. Jesus did ministry without a building and slept with rocks as pillows. Jesus certainly didn’t have support from leadership yet he reached thousands.
What did Jesus have? Jesus walked each day knowing His place as a Son of the Father and in the power of the Spirit. That’s what he needed to accomplish his ministry.
These same resources are given to you. In Christ we are made sufficient because the God who calls you is sufficient. Jesus has given you all you need for your life.
You may need to get creative. You will most likely have to get on your knees. But you will never be ill equipped for the ministry to God has called you to.
So let’s go back and review. Finish the following sentence: “What my ministry really needs is…” I hope you have a new answer.
Kevin Libick is a Middle School Pastor living in Fort Worth, TX with his wife Kara and her two cats. He is a novice banjo picker and expert Hawaiian food eater. Kevin loves to connect with other youth workers and equip them to live out their calling in God’s Kingdom. Connect with Kevin on Twitter: @kevinlibick
by David Hanson | Dec 11, 2013 | The Youth Ministry Blog
It’s Thanksgiving and my stomach is beginning to prepare for the feast that lies ahead. I woke up at 5 amto put the turkey in to be sure that everything would be ready on time. I’ve lovingly basted that turkey multiple times over the few hours it’s been in the oven. I love a good feast and Thanksgiving happens to be one of my favorite days of the year.
Last night, my wife needed to pick up some last minute things (there always seems to be last minute things for a feast of this magnitude), and I offered to go for her. She has a lot on her plate and any way I can help I should. Offering to go to Wal-Mart is a big deal for me. I HATE going to Wal-Mart… I have a touch of social anxiety with large crowds and chaos, which only seems to get magnified as I get older. If you know me, this probably comes as a surprise because I seem loud and extroverted, which is true in most situations. My anxiety makes it tougher to go to concerts, sporting events, etc. Strangely enough, I work at a decent sized church and it does not bother me there.
If I’m honest, Wal-Mart is extra-difficult because of the many types of people who go there. Sorry if my honesty offends you, but many people that frequent my Wal-Mart are loud, don’t understand personal space, and can be rude. This is exacerbated by the fact that if I’m looking for something specific, it takes me an awful amount of time to find it. I end up walking around the store multiple times and it’s not like you can ever find an employee there. I find myself oscillating somewhere between anger and feeling overwhelmed almost the entire time I am there. Wal-Mart and I are not friends.
As I came home exhausted and feeling like I was about to explode, I began to process. I love to be in control and in that entire situation, I was not in control. I found myself praying and asking God to give me insight. I began to ask God to give me a heart for the people of Wal-Mart. I know weird…
I’m reminded of Jesus going to back to Matthew’s house after he’s just asked him to “follow him.” Jesus sits down for a feast with Matthew and some of his friends. Matthew’s friends were not highly regarded, to say the least. I imagine the people of Wal-Mart being the type of people Jesus would invite to a feast at His house. He would have loved them well and enjoyed their company.
There’s a section of the Ragamuffin Gospel where Brennan Manning talks about this very dilemma and our prejudice. He says, “A friend of mine once told me years ago that the one thing that made her uneasy about heaven is that she won’t get to choose her table companions at the Messianic banquet.” That’s a pretty interesting thought huh? Republicans sitting next to Democrats, religious people next to criminals, uneducated with the educated, the uncool next to those infatuated with their image, all different kinds of people….sinners next to sinners. This feast will be unlike any other.
The image of a feast is a perfect image for this Kingdom Truth. Typically, you only choose to eat with people you like. Sometimes, you are forced to eat with others for meetings etc, but if you had your choice you would probably pick someone who’s company you enjoy. I wonder if in the Kingdom we’ll enjoy people more. The way we’re designed to. To recognize differences and enjoy them. If not, Heaven’s gonna be an awkward place. The Bible never says that there will be no more awkward. The Kingdom is a place where everything is as God has designed it, and He designed us to love others, even in our differences.
I continue to pray for God to soften and change my heart towards others. It’s hard because of my prejudices and anxiety. I don’t want to make excuses for the Kingdom not being lived out in my life. Maybe I need to spend some more time in Wal-Mart. Today, we are having guests at our house for Thanksgiving, some we have never even met. It might get awkward and we might disagree on some things (as long as no one roots against the Cowboys we’ll be fine), but we’ll feast. It’s probably not the Thanksgiving I would have imagined years ago, but God has a funny way of bringing the unexpected when you seek Him. It’s a refining process for me. It’s preparing me for feasting in Heaven. I long for a feast the way God intended it to be. It’s going to be an outrageous party.
Brandon Weir is the Student Pastor at The Fellowship Round Rock near Austin, TX. What does Brandon love? “I love my wife Jules, my dog Ranger, Texas Tech, being outdoors, the Texas Rangers, camping, hiking, reading, Torchy’s Tacos and I love me some Jesus.”
